blog 22 weasel

Then I wrote on the mirror ‘Whose’s baby?’

I turned away but spun back but Weasel was too fast. He had already written on the mirror ‘Not allowed to tell!’

I decided to ignore him so I found some moldy books and read all of the rest of the afternoon. Occasionally I heard Weasel scurry around but he was always too fast for me to see. Sometimes Weasel deliberately ran over my legs.

I said ‘I am not talking to you Weasel!”

In the depths of the rubbish Weasel snorted. I felt something scratch the book. But Weasel was always too fast. But on the mirror Weasel wrote ‘Read me the book!’ So I read the book out loud. It was a children’s book about a farm with cute farm animals. It was rather infantile but the only other book was a moldy dictionary. So I read the book out loud. When I made the sounds of each farm animal Weasel repeated the sounds out loud, copying me. Regretfully I had taught Weasel to mimic animal sounds so naturally as I pouted on the ledge as my stomach gurgled for food Weasel mimicked a pig and a chicken and a cow and a dog and a cat and a horse and a rooster. All afternoon.

Bt evening I was in a black temper. Weasel kept taunting me with barnyard sounds. “I am hungry you damn Weasel!” I finally shouted.

“Mooooo.”

“Shut up!”

“Meow.”

“Be quiet!”

“Oink.”

“Ahhhhh!”

“Bowwow.”

I had created a monster. So I picked up the dictionary and I started reading words out loud. I picked small words. Useful words. Simple words that could be strung into a sentence like the sort of baby talking my little brothers made as they prattled. Weasel repeated the words as if by compulsion.

“Talk to me Weasel!” I commanded.

“No!”

“Talk to me!”

“Oink!”

“Oh to hell with you then!” I threw the dictionary aside. Then I heard Maeve’s feet coming up the steep stairs. “I suppose you would not help me out would you Weasel?” I begged.

“Meow.”

Maeve came into the attic with a tray of bread and water, I attacked the tray ravenous. As I stuffed the bread into my mouth Weasel shrieked “John hungry! Feed us!”

Maeve jumped as if she saw a ghost and ran down the stairs shrieking that the Wee Ones were after her. In her panic she left the door wide open. Weasel and I made good our escape downstairs to the scullery and hid under the sink. At least I hid. I don’t know where Weasel slithered to. After Maeve fled to her bed to hide I crept out and raided the cold room gorging on everything. Weasel whispered “Don’t eat too much John. You will be sick after starving.” Weasel was right. I threw up and then cried. I did not care if I was caught so I crept up the stairs to the nursery and crawled into my little bed and curled up while stifling sobs. Mary and the little ones came over and Mary said “I am sorry Johnny.” Then she crept back to her bed with Alex who was crying so hard he was even stuttering as he cried. Charlie and Willie crawled into bed with me. Charlie sucked his thumb. Naturally Weasel decided to dance in the attic until the ceiling thumped. Everyone looked at me. I hissed “I told you it was not me! It is Weasel!”

At that very moment I felt Weasel slither across the bed and Willie and Charlie froze in terror. Then Weasel slithered across the bed of Mary and Alex who froze.

“Whaaaat wwwwwas ththtthtthat?” Alex stuttered.

“Weasel!” I hissed. “Go to bed in that half opened drawer. So he did, throwing out socks and underwear before finally making a mess sufficient to please him. Thus Weasel became a member of our family.

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