blog 5 our host

Then they dragged us through rich hallways into the great durbar assembly room in all if it’s alien Mughal glory. Grotesquely, the room was filled with Afghans richly dressed in luxurious cotton and silk, bathed, perfumed, aping civilized men. They were seated cross legged on cushions on the rich carpet. On a raised divan Akbar Khan sat cross legged, richly dressed, bejeweled, turbaned, smelling of perfume. They were about to commence a lavish feast. We were shoved down along the farther edge of the carpet on cushions in all of our festering decay as the Afghans smirked as they waved handkerchiefs drenched in perfume as if they were the heights of London Society and we were Untouchables. Then platters of rich food were set before us. And grotesquely, the feast commenced.

Palmer shouted “Don’t eat the food!”

“I consider that rather an insult Major Palmer” Akbar Khan smirked as he nibbled a rich morsel of food .

“Because after starving on rotten food this rich food will kill us” Palmer replied. “As well you know! You are an unseemly host so I will not even bother to ask for Nanawati per the Code of Afghan Honor because you are incapable of honor or else you would not have commanded warlords who broke every rule of honor and religion in their betrayal of us.”

One man tried to eat the excessively rich food and he immediately threw up on the beautiful carpet. However, he then smeared the vomit into the carpet to ruin it. A carpet you must understand represents the honor of the host. That is why everyone is suppose to take off their shoes er they walk on it. We all cheered him. It was Mack the red haired Scot. The rest of us sat as platters of rich food was placed before us knowing full well we were too sick to eat from them.

“Fuck it!” Mack shouted. “At least you could give us beer!” Akbar Khan only smirked on his rich divan.

I was throughly pissed and I never like being bullied so I said “Oh mighty Khan! Considering the parricides and regicides and murders and tortures that have been committed by party goers in this room I am surprised we have been invited. Surely we are not worthy such an illustrious assembly of hell bound knaves, scoundrels, rascals and rapscallions.”

Akbar Khan smirked. “Speaking as mass murderers yourselves I deem you quite worthy company! You dared to depose my most noble father Dost Muhammad of Kabul to foster a puppet lackey on the throne!”

“I am a solder and I don’t butcher women and children!” I replied

“You should be taught manners” Khan replied as he nibbled rich food with dainty fingers. Between each course he dipped his fingers in a bowl of rose water and then wiped them with a perfumed napkin. So Palmer mimicked him until we all laughed with glee. God! You must understand Palmer had been tortured repeatedly and his tortured foot stank something vile. They had also ripped out all of his fingernails. So this was an action of defiance that screamed out heroism. I all but wept for Palmer. A braver man I never knew.


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